I remember I lived a life wihout any conflicts with others until graduating from college. My family members were expert at my behaviors or thoughts, I was a good students to teachers, and I got along with my friends at school.
However, from the moment I got married and started teaching at school, I faced with a lot of problems. Most of problems were derived from relationships with my husband, sons, and students. They did not behave and think in the way I expected toward them.
When I felt I needed something to solve problems, I decided to apply for Counseling and Psychology at graduate course. The professors put an emphasis on how to build up healthy relationship with others. They said that the first step for good realtionship is to understand differences between others and I.
As one of courses I had to take, I attended MBTI Personality workshop with my classmates. At that time, I learned understanding others’ personality is like geting to know their strengths, and I realized I had dwelled on their weaknesses. I had tried only to change others in my way, not changing myself. That’s why I had conflict with others, which was an eye opening to me.
I changed the way I dealt with people. I began listening more and focusing on the positive, praising others as often as possible. I could accept my husband’s way of thinking, have patience with my sons and students. Then, I realized conflict with others was melting down. I felt more satisfied and at peace with myself.
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That's so interesting (the reason you chose to go into Counseling and Psychology). It's always good to focus on the positive!
ReplyDeleteI've done the same thing...concentrate on weaknesses instead of strengths. It's easier to find fault in someone than anything else. I, too, have a husband and sons. My oldest son has autism and the father has aspects (both asperger's), so I've had to relearn how to deal with even the simple things. I've learned how to choose my battles because some (most) simply aren't worth the fight.
ReplyDeleteI think you will be a great counselor. I like that you focused on changing yourself, rather than others. People will always let you down, it seems. But we can respond in a positive way, regardless of other's behavior. Thanks for the sound advice!
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome, Janet. I know that it is really hard to change ourselves. But, it was inspiring to realize that I myself had been choosing my reponse. Anyway, the time I studied Counseling and Psychology was valuable to me.
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